My review methodology

1-4: Varying degrees of pain. 1 is “Alvin and the Chipmunks cover Stryper”. 4 is… a well produced version of the aforementioned. The purpose of 1-4 is also to incite various degrees of mocking, for example, “Every record produced by Morbid Angel is a 2, tops.” Now, I’ll get post from room-temperature IQ little-brains doing their best Jeff K. posts. (The best part is, they won’t even realize I’m mocking them!)

5-7: Varying degrees of OK-ness. 5 is “buy if you’re a fan”, 6 is “maybe it’ll grow on you”, 7 is “worth putting into the top 5 on your next-to-buy queue”. Even at this level, I make the assumption that you might not dig it.

8-10: Varying degrees of awesome. Buy now, leave your job early and buy now, quit your job and devote your entire life to this band now.

Are there 10’s? Yeah. I just haven’t heard ‘em yet.

Morbid Angel is a 10 is bizzaro land, bitches.